Mr. Jack Daniels would like to steal the limelight from me, supposedly losing his birth certificate so he claims the WHOLE month of September for his own (see Jack’s Birthday). He even had the audacity to invite himself on some campaign trails (see Whiskey Bus Headed to Hill article) but I dare say he is only a guest at my party and indeed, would be lucky to be served on ice to my esteemed guests.

Mr. Arthur Guinness has also started a campaign to claim his September 26 birthday as a national holiday. He might have more resources than I to celebrate ‘Arthur’s Day’ with the masses (see Arthur’s Birthday site) but I say, fine, have your National Holiday in Ireland where you’re from and let me have my National Holiday here in the good ol’ U.S. of A! And yes, he would be invited to keep Mr. Daniels company, on ice, atop my open bar.